


Ain't that a kick in the head

by Joey_Westwife



Category: Westlife
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1990s, Cheating, Cousins, Family Secrets, First Time Blow Jobs, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Long Lost/Secret Relatives, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Marcky, Revenge Sex, Shark - Freeform, Shnicky - Freeform, boyzone fans, tv and console memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-04-27 09:36:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14422599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joey_Westwife/pseuds/Joey_Westwife
Summary: When first time loves Nicky and Shane split, cheater Shane finds a new boyfriend but Nicky makes it his mission to seduce the boy himself for a revenge fuck but when Nicky finds out some home truths about his new boyfriend, all bets are off and he wonders if giving Shane another chance is the best way forward - feeling disgusted by his underage/nearly incestual actions.





	Ain't that a kick in the head

**Author's Note:**

> *Incest implies cousins not immediate family - marriage to cousins is legal in Ireland but producing offspring isn't recommended  
> *underage sex is based on one boy being 16 (legal in northern Ireland and Britain but the legal age in the Republic is 17)

"I'm pretty sure he's seeing someone else already. I saw him walking down the road with someone the other day." Heartbroken Nicky sulked to his best friend Gina.

The brunette girl shrugged and sipped the Cappuccino Nicky had made her before taking his break at O’Riley’s, the boutique coffee shop on the high street.   
"Fuck him Nix. Why are you wasting your time thinking about Shane? He cheated on you!"

"I still love him G. He's gorgeous. I'll never find anyone else like him."

"Seriously?! You're 18, you have the rest of your life to find someone like him. Better even. Someone that doesn't cheat on you just because you didn't want to go for a beer."

"Saturday nights are for TV. He knows, knew, I like staying in to watch Gladiators, London's Burning and Noel's House Party. One day there'll just be bullshit on Tele at a weekend. Like some string of boring talent shows full of ridiculously crap people. Plus the bouncers have started watching the pub doors on a Saturday now and I haven't got my ID yet. They don't care on a Friday."

"Now you're legal to go drinking you never want to. You used to be so much fun Nicky. You're the biggest rebel I know but you'd rather sit and watch entertainment shows than be out causing trouble."

"Haha what's wrong with Gladiators?! All them fit blokes in leotards... Come on Gina, I can't keep recording it, I don't have many blank VHS left and you know I like recording films. Just because I didn't want to go out it gives him the right to shag some piss head does it?" Nicky huffed, missing his first love like crazy. "I miss him so much but I'm so angry."

"He's your first love Nix, you'll never get over him but you're working now, you have your own flat and freedom. You'll find someone else."

"Have you seen that new boyband?" Nicky changed the subject. "They're from Dublin. About our age I think. The blonde is fit as fuck."

"Oh my god yeah I saw them on The Late Late show. That blonde guy looks like you." Gina grinned, staring at her cute friend. She'd fancied Nicky since the first time she met him in geography class but because Nicky was the class clown and gang leader of his estate, she kept her secret from him until she found out he was gay. "Why? Do you fancy him?"

"He's alright. Completely different to Shane though."

"So why ask?" Gina giggled, spooning the froth off her beverage.

"They're doing a gig in Sligo next Saturday if you want to go."

"What about Gladiators?" She grinned.

"It's not on. The football has fucked up the schedule and when have you ever seen me kick a footy?"

"No you just kick the heads off daffodils in people's gardens and stamp on your friend's legs."

"G! Both of those things happened once. Gavin was being a dick and deserved it. No one calls me a dirty puff and gets away with it."

It was the 90s though and being openly gay was still a taboo subject. There wasn't alot of exposure of gay characters on TV yet and the intensely religious folk around the Morgan estate would often preach about the sins of homosexuality. Nicky had kept his feelings hidden until he was 16 and in a serious relationship with fellow gang member Shane. Shane was the quiet one, the easily led boy that wanted to be cool and fit in because the only other group of social boys his age were Catholic Bible bashers.  
Shane was sweet, caring, kind and honest but he knew he was gay from the age of pubity so he tried to hide it by befriending the biggest jerk in school. During a late night cider drinking session on the park, Nicky had made a comment about Shane finding a girlfriend but the brunette admitted in his intoxicated state that girls weren't on his radar and Nicky clicked HE was. The blonde had only let Shane in the gang because he was instantly attracted to him so the minute he discovered the gorgeous boy was gay too, he'd forced a kiss on Shane's lips while he sat on a swing. It was Shane's first ever kiss and it sent shockwaves through his body. It took all of 2 seconds for Shane to respond and ignore that anyone could have caught them despite it being dark. It was the start of something magical for the boys who'd hidden their relationship from the rest of the gang and even their parents for 6 months at least. 

Shane would visit Nicky at home most nights after school and they eventually fell madly in love. Young love. First love. It was adorable and the emotions Nicky felt softened his ass hole attitude which kept him out of trouble because he'd rather be home shagging his boyfriend once they finished their exams and Shane had turned 16.  
Although the legal age for sex in the Republic of Ireland was 17, Nicky had convinced Shane to take a trip to Belfast so they could be together and not feel guilty about losing their virginity too soon as the legal age there was 16 but as soon as they hit home turf, they couldn't stop their desires and continued to take any given opportunity to do the deed. They were horny teenagers in love and no one could tear them apart.   
When Nicky's displeased father found out about his shenanigans, he gave his son 'the talk' and made him promise to use protection and be discrete which the blonde honoured until they were both 17.  
When Shane left school he'd gone straight to college to study the building trade and met a boy called Kian and with a part time job as a stable hand, Shane managed to afford to live in his own place with his new friend. It gave him the independence and freedom he needed to allow Nicky to sleep over at his house for a change and the boy's relationship got stronger.   
Nicky wanted to go into hospitality but to begin with he got a job at O’Riley’s and became the head barista and enjoyed it so much he hadn't furthered his dream to manage his own hotel yet. His best friend Georgina was a regular customer and he often shouted her a freebie in return for relationship advice and because the girl genuinely liked Shane, she'd put her own unrequited love aside to ensure her favourite blonde was happy.

"It's only been 2 months since you split up Nix. It's bound to be raw. Are you sure it wasn't just Kian?" Gina finished the last dregs of her cuppa and smiled at Nicky.

"No, he was brunette and taller then Keano. What if it's the guy he cheated on me with?"

"You'll never know babe. Just remember it was you that dumped him."

"He cheated Gina. I'm devastated, of course I dumped him. But I didn't think he'd move on so quickly. Didn't I mean anything to him?" Nicky frowned, trying to hide his sorrow from the customers as he sat in his uniform.

"Nix, you can't trust him if he's going to be like that. We'll find you someone new at the Boyzone gig. I promise." Gina rubbed Nicky's arm and smiled as she stood to leave the café. "Stop fretting and forget about that prick. I still love you."

"Love you too sweetheart. Thanks." Nicky gave his bestie a hug and kissed her cheek. "I'll try to get him out my head but I love him so much, I'm not sure I can."

5 minutes after Gina had walked away, Nicky's next customer smiled as he ended his phone call. Giving the young boy his full attention, he watched the brunette's eyes sparkle as he greeted the blonde coffee maker behind the counter.  
"Morning." Nicky grinned, nodding at the younger man waiting in line. "What can I do for you? I mean, what can I get you?"

Mark's bright and happy disposition was a rarity but following his cute phone call, he was feeling fluffy and excited for his forthcoming plans.  
"Hi..." Mark noticed the blonde staring at him and felt embarrassed but it gave him confidence. "Flat white please."

Nicky could see the boy was younger than him but his deep blue eyes were mesmerising; so much more striking than Shane's hazel orbs. Maybe this moving on malarkey would be easier than he thought. With a cheeky grin and thanks given, Mark shyly left the café, drink in hand but Nicky's gaze was hard to break as he followed the boy's exit.  
'What a cutie!'   
Nicky smirked, still staring out the window until his colleague nudged him back to reality.   
"Sorry but did you see that lad?"

"Yeah he was cute, why?" Keavy said, filling up the napkins by the till. "Your type was he?"

"Absolutely. Move over Filan, there's a new boy in town!"

"Don't be rushing into anything on the rebound Nix."

"If Shane doesn't love me anymore then I'll do who and what I want. Why should he have all the fun while I wallow in heartache? If I can bag myself someone as cute as that boy then Shane will mean nothing to me again."

"That's bullshit but whatever."   
***

Mark fluffed up the pillows for his mum and guided her to sit back on her hospital style bed situated in her front lounge before placing the serving tray over her hips ready to feed her the beans and mash he'd made her for tea.   
He'd been caring for his mother for several years since his father died and she'd contracted motor-neurone disease. Now in the final year, possibly months of her life, Mark was recieving carers allowance to look after her full time. She understood as a young lad he needed time to himself to study for exams and socialise with friends but he felt guilty everytime he requested rest bite to go and enjoy himself.

"You seem brighter today sweetheart." Marie pointed out, causing her son to smile again. "Have you met someone?"

"Maybe." He blushed. "He's gorgeous."

"He?! So you finally admit you're gay, hallelujah." She chuckled.

"Well there's no point hiding it from you now is there. I want you to know I'm happy."

"I've always known son but thank you for having the confidence to confirm it yourself. So who is he?"

"Don't freak out mam but he's older than me. He's in the last week's of his apprenticeship to be a builder. He lives with his friend on John Street above the seamstress place you used to use. I've known him since doing my paper round but he had a boyfriend then. I saw him in McDonald's a few weeks ago and we got talking."

"So he's 18? That's ok Marky. Just don't let him take advantage."

"He won't. He's the sweetest guy on earth Mam. He respects my age and we haven't... I'm waiting."

"Good boy... This tea smells wonderful." Marie sniffed her seasoned mash waiting to be spoon fed so Mark took the hint and helped to keep up what little strength she had left.

After Marie had finished her fruit jelly dessert, she smiled at her son and managed to force her hand to touch his. "Mark darling... I need you to do something for me."

"Anything. What is it?"

"I need you to go into my bottom drawer in my bedroom and find a blue envelope. It has details of something I need you to research for me. It might be a long shot but it's time to try."

"Sure, I'll go look now."

"No... Wait until tomorrow. You should go and see your friend. I'm tired and need some rest. I'll be OK." She smiled, struggling to keep her eyes open.

"I don't need to go out tonight Mam. I'm a little brassic anyway." Mark kissed her head and tucked her back in. "I'll just watch a movie in my room."

"Marky please. I want to see you happy. Take what you need from my purse. I haven't yet used all my cash. I want you to have it. Go and be with your friends darling."

He nodded and warmly smiled, granting his mum her wish. "Ok, I'll call Michael or Shane... Mam, next week there's a gig at 5th on Teeling. That boyband we saw on The Late Late show is in town and I'd like to go with Shane. Do you mind?"

"Ooh lovely. They were very good, can I come?" Marie joked, winking at her boy. "Of course I don't mind."

"Thanks. That Ronan is so cute, I think he's gonna be a massive star one day."

"As will you my sweetness. One day you'll be the biggest star Sligo has ever seen. If you don't go to music college when I'm gone, I will haunt you." She chuckled. "Anyway, go and get changed out of those sodding popper trackies and have a good night."

"I love my Adidas poppers. They're all the rage."

"Make an effort son."  
***

Shane and Kian styled their hair ready for a drink in the local. The blonde builder was raring to see the barmaid again but all Shane could talk about was his new squeeze Mark.  
"He's just told me he can come to the gig." Shane beamed with happiness.

"Isn't he the paperboy?" Kian looked at him confused. "You're seeing him?!"

"Yeah, so? He's cute."

"He's not Nicky cute though is he?"

"Nix dumped me so I'm moving on. Mark's really sweet. He's innocent and laid back." Shane told his best friend. He didn't seem too bothered that Nicky had told him to get lost after his terrible mistake.

"You mean he's too young to go drinking so you can go out and not be moaned at?"

"He's a carer for his mammy Keano. He isn't into the pub scene. It doesn't mean we can't do other stuff together. I don't want anything full on right now."

"In case Nix wants you back?" Kian raised his brow.

"He'll never forgive me. What I did was wrong and I've lost him. I respect that but I'm not going to be lonely cos of it. Just be happy for me will ye?"

"I think you're insane not fighting for Nicky. He's your first love Shane. He's important to you."

"Shut up Kian. You don't know what you're talking about. Come on, let's go so you can dream about getting in Jodi's knickers. I'll fuck Mark before she lets you even kiss her."

"Get lost. At least she's old enough to drink." Kian shoved Shane out of the door and they made their way to O'Shaughnessy's down the road.

Already on their second beer, the buddies sat at the end of the bar as Kian tried to chat up Jodi when she had the odd spare minute. The beautiful brunette girl was 18 like them and worked as a part time barmaid while she went to music college; the same place Marie was hoping Mark would attend next academic year. She was very talented and her stunning smile drew all the boys into the old man pub.  
Without confirming their whereabouts as Shane had told Mark he was off out with Kian, the young boy took a chance on getting through the pub entrance and without fail, he was soon wrapping his hands round Shane's eyes to play guess who.

"Oh my god, Mark!" Shane jumped from his stool and gave him a hug. "You should have said you were coming."

"It's not a problem is it? Sorry I..."

"No it's great. There's a bouncer sniffing in and out of the locals tonight that's all. But you're in now so it's grand. Do you want a coke?" Mark nodded knowing he couldn't have a cider. "Mark, this is Kian."

"I know, we've met before. Well, I've seen him a few times on my old round but hiyah, it's nice to meet you properly." Mark smiled and shook Kian's hand. "Mam demanded I got out of the house. Apparently I wear my poppers far too much."

"My ex lived in his so I know what she means." Shane chuckled. 

“I’m just going to nip to the toilet.” Mark told him and shot off across the room but bumped into someone on his way into the room. “Oh sorry.” When he looked up, he saw those baby blue eyes from the cafe staring back at him. “Hi again.”

“Oh, hey. The lad from O’Riley’s right?” Nicky smiled, ecstatic to see him again.

“Yeah. That coffee was grand earlier, thanks.”

“Anytime… the next one is on the house.” Nicky smirked with a twinkle in his eye and cheekiness in his grin.

“How come?”

“Just because, that’s all.” Nicky looked Mark in the eye hoping he’d assumed his sexuality correctly. 

“Thanks. I’ll be back tomorrow no doubt. Will you be there?”

“Absolutely. So… out with friends?” Nicky tried to make small talk.

“Yeah, I’m only 17 so I can’t drink but I’m meeting someone.”

“Oh… ah OK.” Nicky mumbled, disappointed he couldn’t offer him a seat at his own table. “Cool, OK, well um, have a good night then. Might see you tomorrow.”

“Thanks. Yeah you will.” Mark’s shy expression was so cute and Nicky couldn’t take his eyes off him. “Have a good night too then.”

“Thanks. I’m Nix by the way.”

“Mark. I’m Mark.” He smiled, his eyes locked on Nicky’s too. “See ya.”

Nicky nodded and watched Mark walk into the urinals but as he entered the bar he saw Shane and Kian sat by the barmaid and he huffed, rolling his eyes; the smile on his face soon wiped away.   
‘Great!’  
The boys hadn’t seen each other since the day they split up but the blonde wanted to clear the air so he approached his ex and patted his hand on the brunette’s shoulder. “On the pull or waiting for your new boyfriend?”

“Nicky!” Shane jumped, turning round to come face to face with his first love. “How are ye?”

“Still angry but my world doesn’t revolve around you anymore so…” Nicky shrugged trying to save face. 

“We’re just here for a quiet drink, don’t cause a scene yeah?”

“Me!? I’m not the prick, you are. I came over to say hi and hope we can get over what you did.”

Shane sighed and pulled Nicky away from Kian for some privacy. “Nix I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I’ll always love you, you’ll always be special to me. I just don’t think we’re right for each other anymore. We’re different people now, we’ve grown apart.”

“You mean you’d rather be shagging around than sat bored with an old man like me?” Nicky bitched, unable to keep his cool. “I love you so much Shane. I never thought you could hurt me like this.”

“I’m sorry, I am. But I’m moving on now… we have to just… look, Sligo’s a small town. We’re bound to bump into each other but I can’t bear to be your enemy. Please forgive me so we can be friends.” Shane wiped his hand down Nicky’s arm and begged with his puppy dog eyes. 

“I don’t think we can be friends Shane. It’s too hard. I just wanted to clear the air.”

“Could have fooled me.” He chuckled. “Nix, I’m so sorry it’s come to this. You’re amazing and I really hope you find someone that treats you right.”

“I might have met someone already but he’s not you.” Nicky dropped his chin and frowned, close to tears as Shane held his hand. “I’m just not ready to forgive you yet. It still hurts so much. I miss you.”

“I miss you too babe but I know us splitting up is the right thing to do. I’m seeing someone else now and it’s going really well.”

Nicky snatched his hand away and scorned Shane. “Yeah you’re really sorry then aren’t you? If you were sorry and still love me, you wouldn’t be shagging someone else already.”

“I’m a single, horny, young man Nix, what do you expect?”

“You’ve changed… our relationship was never about sex.”

“No but I’m 18 now. I want to live my life while I’m young and you should do the same.”

“Fine… consider us well and truly over. I don’t even want to speak to you again.” Nicky shook his head at Shane and made his way to the back door, passing Mark on the way passed.

“Leaving already?” Mark asked.

“Yeah, my friend stood me up so I’m going home. Have a good night mate.” Nicky patted Mark’s back and forced a smile but as he watched the tall brunette approach Shane and Kian, receiving a kiss to his cheek from his ex, Nicky fumed. “You have got to be kiddin’ me… game on Filan!”  
***

All day Saturday, Nicky waited on bated breath for Mark to walk through the door of the café. Keavy could sense how tense the blonde was and offered to cover his shift as she was due to finish an hour before him but he couldn’t leave until he knew for sure the cute boy hadn’t come by. 

When Keavy noticed the sweet boy enter, she nudged Nicky causing him to spill the current order he was making but when he turned to see Mark waiting in line, he handed her the cup to sort herself.  
“Mark, hey.” Nicky’s face lit up, greeting him. “You came.”

“Ha-ha yeah, I said I would didn’t I? I didn’t have time to come earlier but I’m gasping for that free coffee now.” Mark winked, being cheeky in assuming Nicky would still oblige. 

“Of course. Same again?” Mark nodded, asking to make it large. “No problem. Take a seat, I’ll bring it over if you’re staying?”

“Sure why not.” Mark grinned ear to ear and picked somewhere to sit. 

Keavy tutted and laughed at Nicky’s sudden change in mood. “You are so cute. Shane who right?”

“Oh trust me, Shane’s still in my mind but not for the same reasons. If he can move on then so can I and that boy is mine.” 

After making Mark’s drink, Nicky took his break and asked if he could sit with him, forgetting Gina was due any time for their daily natter.   
“Thanks. So how was your night?”

“It was grand. We just had a couple then went back to the lad’s house. Did you get up to anything good in the end?”

“Nah, just went home and watched a movie. Wish I’d stayed out though.”

“Why?”

“I’d have been happy staring at you from a distance.” Nicky admitted; his flirting coming across as stalkerish. 

Mark was overwhelmed by the pretty boy’s attraction to him but he liked the older boys and loved that he had options. “You could have joined us. They wouldn’t have minded. Kian was busy trying to chat up the barmaid anyway so Shane and I just shot some pool.”

‘Shane sucks at pool.’ Nicky smiled to himself. “Cool. I didn’t want to intrude. Especially if you were with your boyfriend.”

“He’s not really my boyfriend. Well, I don’t know to be honest. I’ve known him a while but we’ve only just started hanging out. It’s not like we’re sleeping together.”

“You’re not!?” Nicky was surprised after Shane’s wishes to sleep around more. “Fair enough.” He grinned on the inside. “So does that mean you’re a free agent?”

“Couldn’t say. I’m not sure where I stand with him. I mean, he’s fucking gorgeous and I’d love to sleep with him but we’re taking it slow.” Mark blushed.

‘Sounds more like the Shane I know.’  
“That’s sweet.”

“I don’t get out much to meet people and now I have more interest than ever. I care for my mammy, she’s basically on her death bed so I just came into town for a bit of shopping before I came to see you.” Mark stared at Nicky as he took a sip from his large flat white. 

“Wow, that’s rough man, I’m so sorry to hear that.” The blonde reached his hand over and stroked Mark’s hand. “Probably a good job you can’t legally drink yet then.”

“Oh I drink, don’t get me wrong. Just not in the pubs. I like the odd vodka now and again but I’m not old enough and I don’t want my mam to worry I’m not coping so I keep it on the down low.”

“It must be awful. Are you an only child?”

“Yes and my dad died a few years ago so it’s just me and mam. It’s hard but I’m OK.” He shrugged and smiled, looking down at Nicky’s hand, stroking him. He was so nervous he didn’t want to scare him off by asking him to stop so for some bizarre reason he turned over his palm and linked his fingers with Nicky’s, taking him by surprise. “It’s nice to talk to people about it though. Even if I did just meet them a day ago.” He chuckled.  
Nicky smirked at the easiest move he’d ever made. Mark was reciprocating his touch and it created butterflies in his belly. “I’d be happy to listen if you need a new shoulder to cry on. I’m a good listener. Even if you just wanna spout shit about this new guy you’re not sure about.”

“Thanks Nix. I never realised how friendly the people of Sligo were but I’d like that.” 

Nicky kept his gaze on Mark as Gina entered the café. She noticed him straight away and asked Keavy what was going on. “He’s met someone else already?” Gina repeated, confused after her conversation with him the day before.

“He’s so cute too. I think he’s younger than Nicky but he’s got a killer smile.” Keavy gushed, watching the boys hold hands over the table. “He bumped into Shane last night and it didn’t end well apparently.”

“Great, so he’s on the rebound.” Gina raised her brow. “I hope he’s OK.” She stared over with a smile though as Nicky’s eyes sparkled at Mark. 

“I can get off work early if you fancy doing something right now. Or do you need to get home?” Nicky asked.

“I should get home but I’m free tonight. You could come round to mine?”

“Do you watch Gladiators?”

“Yeah of course, why?”

“Then I’m there.” Nicky chuckled. “What’s your address?” 

“Do you have a pen? I’ll write it down for you. Say 7? Mam usually has her tea and goes to sleep for a couple of hours so I end up watching TV in my bedroom until she’s ready for her evening cuppa. I’d come to you but I’m   
going out next Saturday night so I don’t want to put the relief carer out too much.”

“That’s fine. I’ll look forward to it. Do you want me to bring anything?”

“Up to you. Surprise me.” Mark grinned, taking more of his drink into his belly to warm him up. “I’ll look forward to it too.”

When Nicky finally broke his gaze he noticed Gina smiling over at him. “Oh, G’s here, I best go. See you soon then.”

“Yeah… see you in a bit.” Mark excitedly smiled, his cheeks already aching. He bit his bottom lip and took a deep breath, unsure if he should be so nervous when he was meant to be seeing Shane. But they weren’t exclusive so he didn’t see the harm in having a new friend.

Nicky’s face painted a thousand pictures as he dragged Gina into the staff room. “I’ve got a date! Well, kind of. He’s gorgeous G. He’s 17 and still lives with his mam cos she’s sick but I’m going round after work.”

“But it’s a Saturday night.” She pointed out the obvious. “What about Shane?”

“What about him? Mark has a TV you know, I’m not gonna miss anything.”

“Ha-ha so you have a date watching TV with someone? How exciting!” she giggled.

“Hey… he’s cute as hell G. I can’t wait.”

“Fine, good luck.”  
***

Sat in his room early, Mark played on his computer games waiting for Nicky to arrive when his home phone rang. Before he looked to see who was calling he hoped it wasn’t the blonde cancelling on him but when he saw Shane’s name, he felt a cold rush of blood sweep over him and remembered he hadn’t given Nicky his number.

“Hey you, how’s it going?” he reluctantly answered.

“Hey gorgeous. What are you up to?” Shane cheerily asked down the line.

“Not much. Just chillin’. You?”

“Same. Thinking about you.”

“Really?! Why?” Mark’s voice shuddered.

“Can’t I sit and think about the cutest boy I’ve ever met? You looked so sexy last night ya know. It was great showing you off to Kian.”

“Showing me off?”

“You know what I mean. I’ve talked about nothing else recently. I was just wondering what you were up to that’s all. I can call back if you’re busy.”

“No!” Mark was quick to answer, worried he’d call while Nicky was sat beside him. “No, it’s fine. Honestly. I was just about to jump in the shower that’s all.” He lied, clock watching for his visitor. “My mate is coming round in a bit to play on the Playstation. I’ve not seen him for ages.”

“Ah that’ll be good then. I might head into town if you’re gonna be busy. I could have connected to MSN for a chat but it’s OK.”

“Sorry Shane. I’m looking forward to the gig next week though. I’ve been listening to their new song loads. I bought it from HMV earlier.”

“Excellent. Looks like it’s going to hit number one too. I’m going to get the cassette myself for the car but I’ve not had chance yet.”

“I can record you a copy if you want. I have some spare tapes left.”

“Aww Marky, that’d be ace, thanks. Put some other tunes on it if you can.”

“You want me to make you a mixed tape?” Mark chuckled. “That’s a bit romantic isn’t it?”

“What’s wrong with that? I’d love to listen to your favourite music when I’m driving. It’ll remind me of you when you’re not around.”

“OK, I’ll do it tomorrow. So when do you want to meet up again?” Mark asked, now believing his friendship with Shane was going somewhere judging by his flirting. “I’d love to see you before the gig if you’re free.”

“Sure. I’ll give you a ring tomorrow to arrange something. Enjoy your shower… wish I could share it with you.”

“Ha-ha you really don’t wanna see me naked.”

“Wanna bet. I can’t wait to see you naked but I respect you want to wait so I’ll just have to fantasise about it instead.” Shane flirted down the line, trying to make it clear he was desperate to shag Mark but willing to wait. 

“You’re so fit though… I’m not.”

“Mark, you’re gorgeous, stop putting yourself down. If and when we do anything you won’t be worried about what you look like. You’ll be enjoying yourself too much. Trust me, it feels amazing.”

“OK… well I best go. I’ll speak to you tomorrow. Don’t get too drunk.”

“Can’t promise anything but if you’re still awake later, send me a nudge on messenger and I’ll reply when I get home if you’re still online. I wish I could afford a mobile. My dad said I can have his Nokia 2110 when he gets a new one.”

“I want that new Motorola StarTAC flip phone. It looks super cool but it’s ridiculously expensive. But I don’t go out far so it doesn’t really matter right now.” He sniggered, wishing he was cool like celebs and adults with their new devices allowing you to send a short message to anyone on the go. “Anyway, see ya later.”

“Sure, night babe.”

Mark couldn’t help but grin as he hung up on the brunette. He was embarrassed that he was the object of Shane’s fantasy but it confirmed how sweet the older boy was for respecting he wasn’t ready to lose his cherry just yet. It was only a few more minutes before the blonde knocked at the door and Mark shot down the stairs to answer, ensuring the lounge door was closed so his mum didn’t catch sight of his company. Nicky certainly didn’t fit the description of the boy he’d told her about and he didn’t want to have to explain he was keeping his options open.  
Heading up to his room, Mark led the way as Nicky carried a Tesco bag of goodies. Inside the bag was a few of VHS films from the video shop down the road; Jerry Maguire, Happy Gilmore and Trainspotting, 4 Bacardi Breezers and 4 bottles of Kaliber alcohol free beers, a bag of Maltesers, Butterkist toffee popcorn and a box of Pop-tarts. It looked like a 14 year old’s sleep over with a cheeky alcopop added in but it’s what boys did in the 90’s. Mark had set out his Playstation games on the cabinet; Alien Trilogy, Batman Forever, Bubble Bobble, Earthworm Jim 2, Lemmings 3D, Mortal Kombat 3, Resident Evil, Tekken, Tomb Raider and Worms. 

“You have a Playstation? Sweet!” Nicky marvelled at the bundle of games on offer, happy not to see any football related ones. “How are we going to have time for all this?”

“I didn’t know you’d bring movies when we need to watch Gladiators but we have all night. Well, I do anyway. How long are you staying?”

“Forever, ha-ha. I’ve been saving for a console for ages. How’d you manage to wrangle this one?”

“My dad left me a bit of money in his will so I saved it until I knew what I wanted. I don’t get much time to play on it really and it’s more fun with someone else.”

“Right well we have time to play before the show starts. Pick a game and I’ll open the snacks.” Nicky got comfortable on the bed, watching Mark bend over to turn on the console. “I’ve got that pair of poppers.” He said, seeing the garment on the floor.

“I think the entire population of Ireland has those poppers.” Mark chuckled, remembering Shane’s comment about his ex living in his pair. “So I guess the Kaliber is for me?”

“You can have Breezers too if you want, I just didn’t want you to think I was here to get you drunk.”

“I think I can handle 2 alcopops Nix.” Mark laughed, cracking open two bottles for them. “Just make sure I remember to throw the bottles away in the bin outside. If the carer sees them, my mam will flip… if she could!”

“Mark, you can’t say that!” Nicky laughed at Mark’s insensitive joke. “Is she really that bad already?”

“Yep. She barely has movement in her arms and she can’t feel her legs. She doesn’t talk much sometimes either. She gets a sore throat a lot.” Mark tried not to let the subject affect his mood but Nicky could see he was already upset.

“Mate, I’m so sorry. I know I said I’d come round to chat but we don’t have to if you’d rather just have a laugh and take your mind off it all.”

“We can talk later. Let’s just have a game and chat bollocks for now.” He smiled, sitting next to Nicky on the edge of the bed.

Nicky stared at the brunette for what seemed like forever. His lips were so inviting and he wondered if Shane had kissed them yet. He felt his groin twitch at the thought of tasting the boy but cleared his throat and turned his smirk away but Mark noticed.  
“What?!”

“No, nothing.”

“Don’t give me that. I could see you staring at me.”

“So? You’re gorgeous, of course I’m gonna stare at you.”

Mark’s cheeks turned bright red as he chuckled in embarrassment. “Shut up!”

“Sorry… I can’t help being a massive flirt sometimes.”

“So you do fancy me then?”

“Fuck yeah. But I’m not here for anything like that, honest. It just sounded like you could do with a friend.”

Mark smiled back to the blonde and nodded. “Yeah I do. I haven’t had a mate round to the house since I was in school. Not even Shane’s seen my bedroom so you should feel honoured.”

“Wow, yeah I am.” Nicky beamed, pleased with himself. “Pass me a control then.” He poked Mark’s arm and got pushed off the bed in return. 

“Ha-ha, sorry.”

“Charming.” Nicky laughed, shoving the boys shoulder as he sat back down.   
***

Two hours later the boys had scoffed the popcorn while playing games, watched TV and drank their alcopops, making them giddy. It was time for Mark to see to his mam so while he went downstairs for 10 minutes to check she was OK, Nicky looked around Mark’s room more closely, looking at photos on the wall of Mark and his family. He’d agreed to stay a little longer to watch a film but the longer he spent with Mark, the harder he found it to leave. They got on like they’d known each other for years when they found out they had a lot in common. Although they didn’t yet know they were both going to the same concert next weekend, they knew they liked the same genre of music, films and TV. Neither of them liked football but liked dogs and junk food. The simple things were the cutest and Nicky felt he could be friends with Mark for life. For a moment he thought about ignoring his attraction towards the younger boy to remain just friends, hopefully best friends but he knew this would cause more drama for Mark in the long run so he decided to try and get his hand in and concentrate on getting his own back on Shane instead.  
Nicky sat on the bed with his legs stretched out and his back against the head rest, getting comfy for Mark’s return. It ended up being 20 minutes before the brunette returned to his room but Nicky understood his mum needed looking after more than he needed entertaining. Closing the door behind him Mark presented Nicky with a bottle of vodka.

“Voddie? Are you sure?” Nicky checked the alcohol content. “Nice. Do you have any mixers?”

“Who needs mixers?” Mark winked. “I need a fucking drink. Mam just spewed her tea down my top look. She’s OK now, going straight to sleep but I feel gross and annoyed.”

“Oh Mark… get changed. I’ll stick the video in.”

“Thanks. Sorry I took so long.” Without thinking about what he’d said to Shane, Mark willingly and comfortably took his dirty t-shirt off to show his belly off in front of Nicky, who stood with his jaw open, not slipping the video in the machine but holding it to the flap to push in. When Mark noticed the blonde glaring at him again he covered his face. “Oh no, don’t look.”

“Sorry I… I have chest hair envy that’s all.” He quickly popped the VHS in the player and sat back down. “I don’t think my body realised it hit puberty 6 years ago.” He chuckled. 

“That’s embarrassing.” Mark laughed.

“Oh god I didn’t mean… I just mean cos I have a smooth chest. Not like you.”

“Ha-ha I’ve got a bit of hair yeah. I hope the rest of you realised.”

“Fuck yeah… I’ve got pubes!” Nicky laughed back at Mark as he felt flushed. “And everything else looks and works how it should. I’m just jealous of your manly chest.”

“I’m hardly manly. I’m only 17.”

“That’s man enough for me.” Nicky winked and grinned, flashing his pearly whites. 

His crooked smile and twinkly eyes caught Mark’s attention though and now he was the one staring. Nicky might not have had the perfect smile Shane had but overall he was cute as a button and the urge to kiss the blonde was getting stronger. “Can I tell you something and you not laugh at me?”

“Of course.”

“This is going to sound pathetic… I know I’m kinda seeing this lad but we haven’t even kissed properly. He tried to kiss me the other day but I freaked out and pushed him away.”

“Oh right… you’ve never been kissed?”

“No and it’s my fault for being a pussy about it. Shane’s drop dead gorgeous. I’d be lucky to kiss him but I was too nervous.”

Nicky knew exactly how good of a kisser Shane was and missed his lips. “Did he understand?”

“Yeah but I can tell he likes me and I have to let him at some point. I just don’t want to be a disappointment.”

“Mark, you don’t have to do anything. If you’re not comfortable then don’t do it. If he’s really into you he’ll wait… won’t he?”

“I think so. He seems like a genuine guy but he’s out on the town tonight so what’s stopping him from having a cheeky snog with someone else?” Mark worried, dropping his head.

“Do you really want to be with someone that would do that? I split from my ex cos he cheated on me in town and we were together so if this Shane guy does it when you’re just started out then I wouldn’t trust him.”

“But we’re not together really. How can we be when I’m too scared to even kiss him? I don’t blame him for going elsewhere. I’m the one that said I wanted to take it slow.”

“Fuck off Mark, if you make a commitment to someone it shouldn’t matter. My first love was slightly younger than me but in the same year at school. I kissed him first but when he said he wanted to wait, I did. We were 16 not 17 but we respected each other.”

“Yeah but you’re 18 now and can do what you want. I don’t get why he’s interested in me anyway when I can’t go out drinking and stuff let alone being a virgin.”

“It doesn’t matter to me so I don’t see how it would matter to him. You’re 17, what’s wrong with that? Most gay lads are virgins until they’re like, 19. Don’t worry about it. You’re first time should be special.”

Mark nodded and looked at Nicky. Understanding, caring, beautiful Nicky. “I know you’re right. I guess I’m just scared of disappointing him. He’s so perfect.”

“He doesn’t sound that perfect to me.” Nicky bitched, knowing exactly how imperfect he was. “Maybe you’re looking at it all wrong. A kiss doesn’t even matter that much. I was kissing girls when I was 8 years old. They fancied me so I teased them but it didn’t mean anything because I wasn’t sexually charged or found girls attractive… I still don’t. I’d snog Gina right now if she was here and it wouldn’t mean anything to us… well, maybe it would to her cos she’s totally in love with me but for me it means nothing. It’s just a kiss. The more you practise, the better you are. But everyone’s different. You might be better at your first time than my ex was after 2 years.”

“So you’re saying I should bite the bullet and practise so Shane isn’t disappointed?”

Nicky shrugged with a straight face. “Maybe.”

“Is that your way of getting your tongue down my throat?”

Nicky laughed and shook his head. “Ah busted. Ha-ha. No, it doesn’t have to be me, I’m just saying.”

Mark took a swig from the vodka bottle and passed it to Nicky. “What if I gave you permission to do it?”

“You want me to kiss you? To be your first kiss?” Nicky was surprised this was so easy but tried to be coy about it. 

“Maybe… you know what you’re doing and you’re cute as hell.”

Nicky’s crotch tightened as he held back a grin. “Thanks. I think you’re pretty fit too. The second I saw you behind the counter yesterday… pfft, your eyes are stunning.”

“I’m not as beautiful as you.”

Nicky took a shot of vodka from the bottle and screwed the lid back on, placing the bottle down on the floor. He shuffled round to face Mark and rested his palm on Mark’s neck. “I’ll kiss you if you want me to… right here. Right now.”

Mark’s nerves were evident as his hands shook in his lap and his eyes danced as he stared into Nicky’s orbs. “Erm… yeah.” He muttered. 

“I don’t have to… but if you want to try it then…” Nicky inched ever closer to Mark, slowly testing him in case he wanted to pull away and change his mind. “Then I can just… softly…”

“Nix…” Mark whispered.

“Yeah?”

“Kiss me.” Mark was barely audible but Nicky saw his lips move to say the words and trusted he was doing the right thing by softly pressing his lips on the cushion of Mark’s mouth. He held it there for several seconds before pulling back to check the brunette was OK. “Wow.” He sighed, licking his bottom lip. 

“How was that? No big deal right?”

“It’s a big deal in my boxers.” He joked. 

Nicky looked down to see a growing bulge in Mark’s jogging bottoms. “Shit, I didn’t know I was that good.”

“Ha-ha, it was my first kiss of course it felt good… but I want more.”

“OK… you wanna feel my tongue against yours then do ya?”

“Hell yes.” Mark wasted no time and lunged back at Nicky, taking his cheeks into his hands and pulling him in for what became a nervous, swirl of passion. But Nicky’s delicate tongue let Mark do all the work as he got carried away. “Shit, sorry… oh god, I’ve just kissed a boy. Like, properly kissed a boy.”

Nicky giggled and rested his hands on Mark’s thighs. “Yeah man, that was some fucking kiss. Jaysus.”

“Was it bad? Was it too sloppy or…?”

“No, it was perfect. You're a natural. It was... Hot. He wouldn't have been disappointed." Nicky sank back into the bed and dropped his head.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Come on Nix. Please tell me. Are you sure it was OK?"

"Yes, it was great, I just said so." Nicky snapped. "Sorry... I'm just jealous that's all."

"Why? You're the one that stole my first kiss." Mark smiled, lifting Nicky's chin with his thumb and index finger.

"Yeah but I don't get anything else and you've made me horny as fuck now. Plus your cock is about to burst out of your joggers and it's really hard not to touch it."

Mark burst out laughing as his face turned red. "I didn't mean to make you desperate."

"Oh god, I'm sorry. I sound like a right dirty whore don't I? I do have self-control, honest. You're just so gorgeous, it's so frustrating. I don't know how he holds back. I just want to kiss you all over."

"At the risk of sounding like a contradictory fool, I kinda want it too. I think you've set something alight and I'm not scared anymore Nix."

"No, Mark, no, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"Relax. I know what I'm doing. Nix, you're fucking stunning. I have a beautiful lad on my bed begging to shag me. Why wouldn't I want to?"

"After everything you said I'd have thought that was obvious. Your first time should be special. You don't know me."

"I know enough to know I want you to touch me. Maybe it's not such a big deal after all. Everyone's always told me you'll know when it feels right... With you it does feel right. I trust you and I'm not a stupid, nervous little boy around you."

"Why do you feel more comfortable around me than him?" Nicky was intrigued to find out the difference between himself and his ex. He'd always thought they were so similar.

"I dunno, I can't explain it. I just feel like I've known you for years. I feel like I can be myself around you and I'm not nervous you'll judge me. You're so patient, understanding and approachable... You're a beautiful guy Nix and I'm so lucky to have being able to share my first kiss with you... I don't want it to stop."

"Wow I wasn’t expecting that... Mark as much as I wanna fuck you... To be honest I'm still a novice myself. I mean I slept with my ex but that's it. I've never been with anyone else either. I'm nervous too. I don't want you to be dissatisfied."

"I have nothing to compare it to except my own hand."

"That's true." Nicky sniggered, smiling up at Mark as his unexpected nerves overwhelmed him. "Kiss me."

"I wanna do more than kiss you." Mark leaned in to make the first move and captured Nicky's embrace until they were laid on the bed, wrapping their legs around each other.  
***

Sat in Sixth, Shane laughed with some lads from college as they slagged off the state of the tarts on the dance floor. His friends knew he was gay and asked where Nicky was so he had to explain they'd split up but instead of giving commiserations, they cheered him on for playing the field and being a cheating jerk. It didn't make him feel good about himself though and every time Graham pointed at a cute boy in the crowd, Shane shrugged them off and could only think about Mark. He didn't know for sure himself how serious things were with the brunette boy but every time he imagined going home with another random, he felt a sting of guilt in his stomach, putting him off his vodka. He felt genuinely remorseful for what he'd done to Nicky and couldn't get his head around losing his best friend. As he went to get some fresh out in the beer garden, he sat and thought to himself for 5 minutes, wishing he could just speak to the boys and work out who and what he really wanted. He knew he'd made his bed already but Nicky still loved him and he knew he was just angry, that maybe he could beg for forgiveness and admit how he really felt instead of convincing himself that splitting was the right call. He hadn't even kissed Mark yet and despite dreaming about taking the boy’s virginity, he wasn't all that sure it was what he wanted deep down. It could be the start of something amazing but the more he thought about it the more he realised it was just a rebound, trying to relive history by recreating that special bond for life with someone. Losing your cherry was a big deal... Did he really want to be the one to take it away from Mark when all he really wanted was his own lover back? He loved Nicky so much. His beautiful blonde. Why had he been such a fool? Unable to enjoy himself any longer, Shane made a decision and left the pub without telling his mates and made his way to where he thought he should be at 10:30pm.  
***

Out of breath with sticky hands, Nicky rested back down on the pillow and sighed. "Oh god. I can't believe you lasted that long."

"Haha cheeky. I was nervous but it felt so good. Thank you."

Nicky stroked Mark's cheek with his clean fingers and smiled. "You look so fucking sexy when you come."

"Do I? I just wish I'd come in your mouth. Might have made less mess."

"Don't worry about it. I couldn't handle my first blow job either. I had to push him off and I came all over his face without warning. He thought he'd gone blind." Nicky laughed at his memory.

"So how does my size fair against his?"

"Erm... I guess you're about the same length but you have bigger girth."

"Won't that make sex more painful?"

"Maybe for me... I mean, for whoever you do it with. But who's to say whether you go on top or bottom? It might be easier to be the penetrator first."

"Suppose but I do want to feel someone inside me too. Who went first between you and your ex?" Mark propped his head up with his right hand and tussled Nicky's fingers in his other as he lay without boxers on, next to fully clothed Nicky.

"I took control and fucked him first. It was incredible. I loved him and trusted him so much... It felt like the one thing left to do to complete us. I know I said it doesn't have to be a big deal but it was for us because we were already in love before we reached legal age. He was so perfect. He was everything I ever needed and wanted... He was never that bothered about shagging me, he just wanted it himself which suited me fine. Thrusting my hard cock inside him just felt so natural and right. Like he was mine and no one else could ever touch him."

"Until he slept with someone else. Do you know if he gave it that night?"

"He reckons he gave it yeah. It wasn't much of a consolation though just because I'm still the only guy that's been in his ass doesn't mean it didn't pain my heart any less."

"No of course not... So it was just an angry fuck. Can't you forgive him at all?"

"Huh... I don't know. I wish I could but... Maybe he's right and we do just need to move on. See who else is out there. I know he's seeing someone else now so it's too late to save the title of owning him."

"How do you know he's taking it though?"

"Look it really doesn't matter now. I don't want to talk about him anymore. He cheated on me, end of story. It's his loss."

"Too right. He's an idiot to cheat on you." Mark squeezed Nicky's hand and brought it to his lips to kiss. "Thanks for tonight Nix. It's been great."

"You're welcome. I'm glad you feel so comfortable around me."

"I could lay and kiss you until morning... And if you sucked me off again to get rid of my morning glory I wouldn't complain." He chuckled. "You're amazing Nix."

"It's just a taster of what to expect from lover boy. I'm sure if he's a perfect as you say he is, he'll be a pro at it and you'll explode in his mouth next time." Nicky said with slight jealousy and bitterness.

"Are you still jealous?"

"No, sorry, I just..."

"Nix, you're the one I've spent my first experience with and only we know about it. He's never gonna know. I can't tell him what I've done. He'd end it before it even begins."

"Why is he so special Mark? Why him?"

"You mean, why him and not you? I thought we were just fooling around? I thought you just wanted to ease me into it so I wasn't so nervous with him?"

Nicky let go of Mark's hand and sat up on the edge of the bed, turning away from the younger boy. "Yeah we are, I did."

"So what's the problem?" Mark pulled his boxers back on and worried Nicky was going to leave on an awkward note. "I don't want things to be awkward now. I'd like us to remain friends."

"Friends, yeah of course." Nicky nodded, still refusing to look back at Mark until the younger boy climbed over the bed and planted kisses on the blonde's neck. "Mmm, don't start something you can't finish. It's not fair. My cock is still rock hard from sucking you off."

"So let me return the favour before you go. It's only fair I guess."

"No it's fine you don't need to do that."

"I want to. I wanna know what that idiot gave up on." Mark's hand slipped down Nicky's chest to his groin and wasn't afraid to wrap his hand around Nicky's bulge. "Ooh you are still hard aren't you? I want to touch you Nix." He whispered in his ear.

Nicky’s eyes closed as he felt Mark's hand begin to rub his bell-end. "Ah god that feels good... Mmm I so want to fuck you right now." He bit his bottom lip and hissed, imagining how tight Mark's booty would be.

"I read you have to warm up first right? I have some lube I use for wanking. Maybe you could prepare me while I work your shaft?"

"What?! But you said..."

"Forget what I said... You're here now and I want you to be my first. I want to feel this big boy inside me. You have a condom right?"

"Yeah in my wallet... Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes. I trust you."

Nicky tilted his head back and kissed Mark as the younger boy stroked him and without hesitation, the blonde did what he'd gone for and took Mark's anal virginity, only hoping that before he went home, he'd get a cheeky poke from Mark too.  
***

Sunday morning, Shane moped in the kitchen, throwing his weight around. His idea for the night before had fallen through and he was kicking himself that he hadn't done something sooner. Waking Kian from his slumber, Shane was for a sharp telling off.

"Could you be any louder for fuck sake? What is your problem? Not pull any cock last night?" Kian entered the kitchen to turn on the kettle as he rubbed his eyes and yawned.

"I didn't go on the pull. Don't you think I've got enough to think about without adding someone else into the mix?"

"So why the attitude? It's Sunday!"

"I've been an idiot. I thought I'd made my choice last night but now I don't know what to do. I need to see Mark."

"So call him. Just don't make the neighbours need a fag afterwards. I've got a headache as it is."

"What are you talking about?! I've tried to ring him but no one answered. He's probably busy feeding his mam."

"Are you ever gonna shag him?"

"How can I? He's 16, I'm 18. I could get in trouble. It's not like when me and Nix did it. We were both 16 but I'm the adult now it just feels wrong. And Mark said he wanted to wait so I will."

"He's 16?!" Kian repeated, confused. "16?! Is that why you never kiss him either? Cos he's fucking 16?"

"He's mature for his age. It's not like he's 15. 16 is old enough in Belfast and the UK."

"Just be careful Shane. If he's going round telling everyone he's 17 already then anything could happen." Kian lectured him.

"What difference does a few weeks make? Soon enough he will be 17 and then he'll only seem a year younger than us."

"Until your birthday 2 months later."

"So fucking what? 18, 19, it doesn't matter. I'm respectful of his wishes to wait and I don't have a problem with that OK so there isn't an issue. Like you said, I haven't even snogged him yet."

"I can't believe he's 16. You're sick." Kian tutted and ignored Shane as he poured himself a coffee and left the room.

"You narrow minded dick! I haven't done anything wrong!" Shane shouted out to him. He was right, he hadn't. He was waiting for Mark to become legal age and he didn't have a problem with it. Kian was the one being a knob about it. "But then I never heard Nix complain."  
***

Nicky stretched his entire body as he woke in his own bed. Pleased with himself that his revenge plot had gone so well, he grinned at the memory of slipping his erection into innocent Mark's back passage. It'd felt mind blowing and his body could still feel the boy's cock penetrating him. Although his initial reason for bedding the brunette was spiteful, he cleared his conscience by reminding himself he had found him mesmerising before he knew Shane had got to him first and now he'd had a taste of the younger boy, he wanted more. Mark luscious lips were so sexy and they felt so silky on his hard-on, his strong hands grasping his cock and wet tongue teasing every inch of him. He wasn't expecting to feel so turned on and pleasured by a virgin but clearly Mark knew what he was doing.

'Call him.'   
Nicky sighed with a smile.   
'Fight for him. Don't let Shane take him now.'  
The blonde sighed unsure what to do next. He'd got all week to go before he'd see Mark again unless he could arrange to see him beforehand. He had to close in on the boy soon else all his hard work to seduce him would be undone now he had the confidence to shag Shane before he turned 17 in 3 weeks time.

When the phone rang, Nicky huffed and reached over to the hand set to answer.   
"Yo, shoot."

"Hey it's me, don't hang up." The voice begged down the line.

"What are you calling for at this time of morning?"

"We need to talk Nix. Last night I... I made a mistake and we need to talk about it."

"A mistake? What are you talking about?" Nicky worried there was going to be tears.

"Can I come over? Please."

"Huh, fine. Whatever." Nicky huffed and hung up the phone, forcing himself out of bed to prepare for his visitor.   
***

"You don't mind if I nip out this morning do you?" Mark asked his mum after spooning soggy Weetabix into her mouth.

"Going anywhere nice? How was your night with your friend?"

Mark's smile was a total give away. "Yeah it was grand. He's a nice lad. We had fun."

"Why didn't you let me meet him. It'd be nice to put a face to his name."

"Oh I'm, it wasn't Shane. It was just a friend. Nix... Oh I found the envelope you asked for. Should I bring it before I go out?"

"It can wait until afterwards. Where are you going?"

"Just to HMV. I want another copy of the Boyzone tape. It's a gift but I want the chart position to be affected by the sale so I need to get it before the cut off."

Marie chuckled at her son and nodded, giving him permission to leave her alone for an hour. "Remember to pray on your way passed the church."

"Oh I'll be praying alright!" Mark muttered under his breath.  
***

Knocking on Nicky's front door, his visitor danced on the spot to keep warm. Supposedly a spring morning, it was slightly colder than recent days and he was desperate to be wrapped in the blonde's warm arms.  
"Please tell me you haven't come to upset me." Nicky croaked, opening the door.

"I hope I don't." He replied, stepping inside. "But we need to talk properly. It can't end like this."

"Go on through. The kettles just boiled." Nicky slammed the door closed behind the brunette and shuffled into the kitchen. "What's up babe?"

"I've been a fool... Last night..." He sighed, covering his face he paused.

"Regrets?"

"Sort of. I'd been drinking. I thought being with you was..."

"You'd been drinking, oh here we go. This is my fault again is it?" Nicky started an argument before he could explain.

"No I... I'm so sorry Nix. I never meant to toy with your emotions. You're such a great guy and I've done the wrong thing. It shouldn't have happened and I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

"Well you have and you know it. I don’t sleep around, being with you meant something to me."

"I know and it meant everything to me too. What I've done is stupid, I know that. I was just lying to myself."

"About what? I thought we had something special. I thought I meant something to you."

"We did, you do... I want to be with you again but I know everything is so fucked up..."

"It didn't have to be. You're the one that affectedly ended it."

"I'm sorry." The brunette rubbed his face in regret and stared at Nicky, leaning against the worktop. He approached the blonde and slipped his hands around his waist and rested his forehead against Nicky's. "I know we can't be together but I want you again. I need to feel you inside me again."

"Why can't we be together?" Nicky’s voice cracked, almost sobbing as the gorgeous boy held him tight.

"You know why."

"Because you're seeing someone else who you haven't even slept with yet."

"What? How do you..." He pulled back to look Nicky in the eye. "What does that matter? It's not fair to hurt him like this."

"What about how I feel? I want you too so why is this so hard?" Nicky couldn't hold back any longer and let his tears fall onto the handsome boy’s shoulder. "I'm hurting but I still want you. We have a connection, I know we do. I don't want this to be over."

"I don't know what to do Nix. It's so complicated. Someone is going to get hurt."

"Yes, me! Because you and I... We're nothing. I'm the one that gets used and trampled on while you have your fun. I'm the one that gets left alone while you two live happily ever after."

"I don't know that'll happen. I don't know what's right anymore I just knew I had to come here to see you this morning."

"You need to go. You need to just decide who it is you really want and what kind of future you have. I can't influence your decision, it's up to you." Nicky sniffed and moved away though all he wanted to do was cuddle the boy   
and kiss him to feel better. "Please leave. I can't do this now. Last night changed everything for me. I need time to think."

"Last night... I knew what I wanted last night but you weren't..."

"Go! Just leave me alone." Nicky pushed him towards the door with streams of tears downs his face. His wet eyelashes stuck to his skin as he wept, forcing the boy out of the house. "Please just give me space. I can't deal with this right now. Don't call me, I'll call you."

"But Nix please."

"No! I don't wanna hear it. Get lost." He shoved his man towards the door and watched him reluctantly leave before sliding down the wall in a heap of emotion, devastated by recent events. His head was all over the place. 

Sleeping with Mark made him want Shane more but he was so hurt by his betrayal and by Mark's confusion he didn't know who to trust anymore. His time with Mark had been perfect but all he could see was the two brunette's falling into each other’s arms now and forgetting about him existing. His visitor had made no sense. Did they want him or not? And what did he want?  
***

Once back home Mark opened the blue envelope. Inside he found some old photos of his mum as a youngster, wearing a hideous shift dress and white leather boots as she stood by his grandpa and another young girl.  
"Jaysus Mam. How come I've never seen this before?"

"It's been a secret." She lightly coughed, feeling rough today. "You see that girl next to Grandpa?"

"Is that your old friend Sandra?"

"No Mark... That's your auntie. We fell out 20 years ago. Long before you were born. It was a big bust up and your father vowed we never spoke to her again. She was only 18 the last time I saw her."

"What the hell Mammy? How could you keep her a secret from me all this time? Grandpa and Grandma never muttered a word about her. Where is she? What happened?"

"She's still alive as far as I know. I've heard her name mentioned in church but I haven't seen her. I'm not sure I'd recognise her now. I need you to try and find her for me."

"How am I going to do that? It's not like Gramps can help."

"I know and I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner but I'm nearing the end now son and I need to see her again before it's too late. I have to clear the air. Please can you help me?"

"Of course. Are these her details?" He asked, reading a piece of paper with a name, age and last known address on it. "How old is this address?"

"Grandpa gave me it 10 years ago in case I wanted to reconcile with her but it wasn't the right time. I'm so sorry I've never told you about her Mark."

"I can't believe I've got an auntie I knew nothing about. You kept that one well hidden. Does she have kids?"

"I think so but I don't know how many. Gramps never spoke about her to me. He knew I wasn't interested."

"Why did you fall out? Must have been pretty bad."

"It was but it doesn't matter now. It's all in the past and I need to see her again. Maybe try asking the ladies at church on Wednesday if they know where you can find her. Mrs Theddlethorpe and Mrs O'Conoughey might know. I've heard them mention her before."

"No worries. I'll ask around. Leave it with me." Mark gave his mum a kiss on the cheek and stared at the photo of the 60s. He suddenly felt like he wasn't alone anymore. He'd got an auntie, possibly an uncle and cousins. He had a family somewhere in Sligo and it was going to change everything.  
***

The week flew by but Mark hadn't visited the café once. It was already Friday afternoon and Nicky had fallen into a depression. With both boys running around his head all week he couldn't concentrate and Keavy was worried he'd made a huge mistake sleeping with Mark. He'd only admitted his actions the day before but Gina had heard the whole story not long after his Sunday visitor. She too was confused by the events and wasn't sure how to help.

It was no good. Nicky had to speak to Mark again. Just as he turned to use the staff room phone to try and get through to Mark's home, the brunette entered the building.  
"Mark! Hey."

"Hi Nix." Mark faked a grin, feeling awkward that they hadn't seen each other all week. "Can we talk?"

"Yeah, come through the back. How are you?"

"Stressed. I'm so sorry I haven't been in touch. I've been so busy with mam and..."

"No it's my fault. I shouldn't have been so selfish on Sunday."

"You weren't selfish, you were confused. I respected you needed space too."

"I didn't mean to shut the door in your face. I was so rude and pissed off. I'm so sorry." Nicky reached to hold Mark's hand as he apologised. "Saturday was amazing and I'll never forget it."

"Me either. Nothing has happened with Shane yet either. I can't stop thinking about you."

"Really?! But I thought..."

"Sshh..." Mark placed his finger over Nicky's lips to silence him and then crushed his own into an unexpected kiss. "God I've wanted to do that all week."

"Mark I can't do this. I'm sorry." Nicky slipped away from the younger boy and wiped his mouth in regret. "The reason I was off with you Sunday morning was because... Huh, oh god. 5 minutes before you arrived, my ex showed up. He told me he still wants to be with me but it's complicated and I don't know what to do. All I could think about was having slept with you and I felt awful. I'm so confused right now."

"Oh I see. OK... Well I'll just back off then."

"Mark... I really like you and I'd love to see you again but you're with him and I don't know what I want anymore. I just don't wanna be used. It's me or him."

"You're asking me to choose when you don't even know what you want yourself?" Mark huffed. "Shane's great Nix but you're... You and me. There's more to it. I've got this massive family revelation hanging over my head right now and I want to talk to you about it, not him."

"So you choose me over him?"

"If you're forcing me to choose then yeah." Mark made his snap decision and wrapped his fingers around Nicky's neck and ears. "You're amazing Nix and your ex doesn't deserve you. I don't deserve Shane either for going behind his back but you... I can't stop thinking about you and I need, I want, your help. My week has been so crazy searching for someone I didn't know existed and every day I've wished you were there to guide me. I've missed you. Hanging with Shane made me realise, I don't really want him. I want you."

"Wow I wasn't expecting this. I still love him though. I'm not ready for a new relationship. I'm not even sure if I can resist him much longer... Feeling him so close to me on Sunday... I felt guilty Mark. It felt like I'd cheated on him."

"But he's the one in the wrong not you. You ended it because he's a prick. So what if he's sorry, you know it was the right thing to do. It just hurts because you're still going through the motions. Please don't waste this opportunity we have... I'd never treat you that way."

"I know I'm sorry... I know you're right. He's just fucking with my head. He was going on about Saturday night as if he'd done something else stupid but I didn't bother to ask what his riddles meant." Nicky sighed and rested his head on Mark's chest. "Ignore me babe I'm just a mess."

"Nix, I don't care about Shane anymore. I want you. I want you to be the one to cut my birthday cake with me and help me make my mam’s dying wish come true. I want her to meet you and know you're the boy that turned me into a man."

"Birthday cake? When's your birthday?"

"In 2 weeks now."

"You're 18 in two weeks? I can finally buy you a pint."

"Not exactly." Mark admitted with gritted teeth. Standing back, he took a deep breath and avoided eye contact with the blonde.

"What do you mean? Do you have other plans or..."

"I won't be 18... I'll be 17."

"What?! How can... You lied to me? You're only 16?" Nicky was devastated. It suddenly dawned on him why Shane hadn't taken advantage of the boy as he knew his ex felt strongly about the legal consent age. "How could you lie to me?"

"What difference does a few weeks make? I look 18 already."

"But you're 16 Mark. I slept with you thinking you were old enough. No wonder Shane was holding back. Why did you lie to me?"

"I'm sorry, it just didn't seem important at the time. It was 3 weeks until my birthday, I didn't think it mattered. I didn't know you'd sleep with me. I consented to it, it's not like you're a paedophile, I'm not 12!"

"That's not the point for fuck sake. If you'd changed your mind and cried rape I could be going to jail."

"Don't be so ridiculous. I wanted to sleep with you. You lost your virginity younger than I did. Whether you went to Northern Ireland or not."

"But my ex was the same age as me. He wouldn't have been arrested for underage sex."

"I was 3 fucking weeks off Nix. Not 3 years. Why is it such a big deal? I'm sorry I lied, I just got used to saying it."

"Does he know the truth?"

"Of course. I was his paperboy for 2 years, he knows exactly how old I am and that's why he was accepting of me wanting to wait. Not because I wasn't ready. Just because I promised my mam I'd wait."

Nicky covered his face and let out a groan. "Thanks a bunch mate. You've just made me feel like a right twat."

"Nix I'm sorry I didn't realise it would be such a big deal. It's legal everywhere else and I wanted you. I wanted to share myself with you, not him. I still want you. Please don't be angry with me."

"Don't ever lie to me again Mark. It wouldn't have bothered me if you'd told me the truth I'd have just been more vigilant and considerate of your morals."

Nicky shook his head and accepted that 3 weeks off 17 didn't seem that bad after all. He was more annoyed that Mark had lied. But who was he to talk? He knew exactly who Shane was and if Mark knew the reasons behind him taking his virginity first, the brunette would be much more devastated. He wasn't banking on Mark falling for him and now he'd have to lie to Shane and play ignorant but he couldn't see it working. Shane would work it all out and then everyone would get hurt. He needed to decide for sure what he wanted and stick to it.

"Nix, I'm so sorry. Please don't say I've ruined everything?"

"You haven't. It's fine, I'll get over it. I just need time to think. I need to know I'm over my ex before I can commit to this. It wouldn't be fair on you to jump in if my head's not straight. Just give me this weekend and we can talk."

"Sure OK. I'll leave you to it then."

"What is it you wanted help with anyway? You said it was family stuff. Is your mum OK?"

"She will be if I pull this mission off. I'm so close, I'm on my way to an address now. I might be about to meet my long lost aunt."

"Wow that's amazing. Are you sure you wanna go alone?"

"Not really but you're working and I need to go right now. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm going out Saturday night so I can't call you but we can chat Sunday?"

"Yeah of course. Good luck. I hope everything works out for you."

"Thanks. There's still time yet." Mark smiled and made his way out of the café leaving Nicky reeling from the proposal that Mark dumped Shane for him. "Fuck... What am I supposed to do Keavy?" He asked as she stared at him from the doorway.  
***

The pub was teaming with excited fans as they waited for the hot new Irish boyband to perform their gig. They'd gone straight to number one with Love Me For A Reason and Ronan Keating was the newest heart throb on the music scene, already featuring on the next front cover of Smash Hits magazine. 

Shane was dressed in his best shirt and jeans as he waited with Kian for his date to arrive but tapping him on the shoulder was the blonde.  
"Nicky, hey. What are you doing here?"

"Same as you. I wanna meet that spunky singer. How are you?" Nicky sipped his bottle of Breezer and nodded at Kian to say hello.

"I'm alright I suppose. I thought you were going to call me."

"I was but I've had a lot on my mind. I'm sorry about Sunday. I just couldn't let anything happen when I didn't know what I wanted anymore."

"You weren't home Saturday night. I came round to see you but you weren’t there. I was coming to beg for you to take me back."

"You were?" Nicky’s heart skipped a beat as he closed his eyes in regret. "But you said you'd been drinking and made a mistake."

"Yeah cheating on you was the biggest mistake of my life. I was drinking and the lads were trying to get me to pull but I wasn't interested. I haven't done anything with Mark and I couldn't stomach being with another random. It made me realise I just wanted you but you wouldn't listen."

"But... But I told you it was over."

"I know but I was just kidding myself when I said all that stuff. I love you so much Nix, I want you back. I wanna be with you so neither of us ever have to sleep with anyone else ever again. The thought of you being with someone new kills me."

Nicky felt sick. He couldn't bring himself to admit what he'd done. His first love was begging for him to take him back and for 2 months that's all he'd wanted but now Mark was after him too, he couldn't think clearly and still didn't know what to do. He didn't want to hurt Mark and he couldn't see a way to be with him without someone getting hurt but he also couldn't let Shane win. He had to tell him some form of truth.  
"Shane it's too late. I wasn't home on Saturday night because I was with someone else. You said you'd moved on so I... I did too. I couldn't tell you on Sunday because I felt so ashamed. It's too late now."

"Right. I see." Shane dropped his head and gritted his teeth. "So you've been with someone else too? That's fair... Do you like him enough to give up on us?"

"Shane, you're here waiting for your date, I know you are. We were over, you can't make me feel guilty for this. It's not fair."

"But I still love you Nicky. I'd drop him like that if it meant I could be with you again. Mark means nothing to me."

"But I mean everything to him!" Nicky snapped back at Shane, not realising how it sounded.

"To who? This new guy you slept with? He means more than me to you, does he?"

"No but... He doesn't deserve to get hurt like this. He's a good lad. I have to go, I didn't know he'd be coming here tonight."

"Who? Mark or the guy you shagged? Is he in here already?" Shane looked around looking to pick a fight.

"No he's not here and if he sees me with you then everything falls apart. I'm sorry Shane but my feelings for you just don't matter anymore. I wanna be with him."

Shane's throat ran dry as he looked at Nicky, staring at his shoes. "So it's really over? All it took was one lousy shag and you don't love me anymore?"

"Of course I love you. I'll never stop loving you. But you broke us Shane. This is on you, not me. I know he'll never hurt me even if he did lie about his age."

"His age?! What are you talking about?"

"Nothing it doesn't matter. Forget I said anything." Nicky finished his alcohol and slammed the bottle down on the bar. "Good luck getting your hand in Mark's pants Shane. I've heard he's frigid." Nicky spitefully spat in his face and stormed towards the back door of the pub but Shane followed.

"What's that supposed to mean? Mark is under age I know that. I'd never disrespect his wishes. That's why I haven't slept with him yet but he's a total sweetheart and I was willing to wait, knowing it'd give me time to move on from you but I can't. The thought of sleeping with him makes me feel sick. I can't take his virginity when all the way through I'll be thinking of you."

"He's not a fucking virgin anymore OK!" Nicky yelled at him, causing people around them to stop and listen for a moment.

Shane hid his face in embarrassment and tugged Nicky to one side. "How do you know? Do you know him?"

"Yeah I know him. I know him really fucking well. I know how big his cock is and how good it feels inside me. I know how tight he is and what his spunk tastes like because on Saturday night I was there fucking him behind your back."

"What are you talking about?! He wouldn't do that. I know you want to hurt me Nix but why would you be so spiteful as to lie about something like that. He's 16."

"Yeah he failed to tell me that part. I wasn't happy about it either but he enjoyed every second of it and now he wants to fuck you off and be with me instead."

Shane couldn't work out if Nicky was even telling the truth. It wasn't in his nature to be so cruel but the look in his blue eyes scared the brunette into believing him. "Are you serious?!"

"Yeah I am and I did it to spite you!" He poked Shane's chest and growled at him.

"But how... Why? How did you know who he was? When did you meet him?"

"At first I didn't know who he was. He was just a cute customer but when I saw him join you last Friday I made it my mission to seduce him and it worked beautifully. All I did was click my fingers and he was putty in my hands. Made him believe it was all his idea."

"You fucking bastard. You used him to get back at me?! What kinda nasty cunt does that?"

"The broken hearted kind Shane. You hurt me and I wanted to hurt you back only I didn't know just how great he was and now I like him and it's a mess." Nicky slumped down on the chair beside him and held his head in his hands. "I really like him... He's such a great lad but I'm scared when he finds out the truth he'll run for the hills."

Shane held back tears as he joined Nicky at the table and took a deep breath to steady his nerves. "I can't believe you did that... With Mark? I actually thought this week he was avoiding me because he was busy. Now I know it's because he'd rather be with you."

"He has been busy. I didn't see him again until yesterday. That's when he said he wanted to be with me but I was so caught up after seeing you I didn't know what I wanted."

"So do you have feelings for him?"

"Not yet. Not the way I love you... But I took his virginity and now he wants to make a go of it." Nicky spluttered more calmly than his raging confession. "He doesn't know you're my ex."

"Oh Nix... What have you done? He's coming here tonight. What do we do?"

"Why aren't you angry with me? Why aren't you fighting me to claim him for yourself?"

"Because I don't have feelings for him. I love you, I want you. But now he's had a piece of you I have to fight him instead."

"You could just end it with him. Let him be with me and he doesn't have to know anything else." Nicky hoped it would be that easy but he was only kidding himself.

"Ha-ha you seriously want me to be that reasonable? I'm gutted you felt so hurt and resorted to this kind of behaviour but I don't want him to take you away from me. I was an idiot Nix, I wouldn't have gone through with it with Mark. He's wonderful but he's not you. Please, Nix you have to forgive me. We can work this out. I'll forgive you for shagging Mark in spite if we can just try and get back together. I love you so much." Shane broke down in tears not caring who saw. He pulled his seat closer to Nicky's and sat between the blonde's legs, leaning down to kiss his soft streaks and rest his hands on his thighs. "Nix... I promise I'll never, ever hurt you again. I was just punishing myself when I said all that shit about us being different, wanting different things. I was being selfish when I cheated and it meant nothing. It was just an angry shag with a stranger and I didn't even enjoy it. He wasn't beautiful and sweet like you. He wasn't delicate and loving when he touched me. His hands weren't soft and light... And when he kissed me I was nearly sick in his mouth. He didn't have sexy, lips like yours. He didn't give me goosebumps and turn me on like you do. It was nothing. I may as well have been fucking a robot, he was so drunk and emotionless he just wanted a cock up his arse and I was the drunken dickhead that gave him it."  
Licking away the tears that fell to his lips, Nicky failed to look up at Shane. "It meant nothing but you still did it. You could have come home to me and used me... But you didn't... And now I've taken someone else's innocence and it's so much worse because I did enjoy being with him. I loved every second of touching him and making him a man. But I was single and you weren't... I didn't think about you once when I entered him and that's what hurts the most. That I could move on so easily when it was meant to be a revenge fuck."

"I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry." Shane pulled Nicky in for a hug as the older boy sobbed his heart out. "This is all my fault."

"I don't know what to do."

Shane nervously bit his bottom lip until it nearly bled. He held Nicky tight and knew the right thing to do. He pulled away and held Nicky's neck, his face just inches away. "You should be with Mark."

"Why? I love you."

"Because if we were meant to be together then none of this would have happened and Mark wouldn't be caught up in the middle of it all. He doesn't deserve to get hurt like this. If he wants to be with you then who am I to stop you both from being happy. We can tell him you didn't know who I was. There's loads of Shane's in Sligo."

"He's not stupid he'll work it out. There aren't that many Kian's and he's been mentioned a few times."

"You said he lied to you about his age. He can't be mad at you for lying then. Just say you didn't realise at first but then it was too late. I'll talk to him and make him realise being with you is the best decision he's ever made. I want you to be happy and if that's not with me then Mark is definitely the next best thing. He's adorable." Shane smiled, wiping Nicky's wet cheeks with his thumb. "I love you so much Nix. I'm so sorry for everything. I wish I could go back and change it."

"I love you too. I always will."

Shane took his chances and tilted his head to kiss Nicky one last time but as their lips locked, Mark walked out on them and froze in shock.

"Oh my god." His husky deep voice stabbed the boy's guts and broke them apart. "You have got to be kidding me."

"Mark!" Nix sniffed, his eyes peeled back like a deer in headlights. "We... I..."

"What's going on Shane?" Mark stood fast staring down at the couple as they wiped their eyes. Playing ignorant to his knowledge of who Nicky was.

Shane got up and wiped his mouth unsure what to say. "Mark I didn't know... I'm so sorry."

"Didn't know what? Why are you kissing him?"

Nicky rose to his feet too getting ready to defend Shane if needs be. "Mark I'm sorry. I didn't know you were seeing him. I thought..."

"Who is he to you?... Oh wait... Ha-ha, silly me. Shane's your ex isn't he? Of course he is. Everything makes more sense now."

"No Mark, listen..."

Shane jumped in to try and save matters but it didn't make much difference. The truth had to come out. "Mark, sweetheart I'm sorry, I've only just found out. Nix told me about last Saturday."

"Oh god. Shane I'm so sorry."

"Yes Nicky is my ex but he didn't know you were seeing me too. He didn't sleep with you to get back at me I swear."

"That's what he told you did he? I knew he was still hung up on his ex but I had no idea it was you... So what's going on here? Decided to make another go of it now you've screwed me over?"

"No, Mark..." Nicky pushed Shane out the way and held the younger boy's neck, begging to be heard. "I had to tell him what we'd done because he needs to know. I can't be with him. I want you."

"Didn't look like it when you were kissing him just now." Mark frowned, ignoring the boy he was meant to be in some form of relationship with. "So he cheated on me anyway?"

"No, he was going to break it off with you. I told him what we did and he knew he had to call it off because you wanna be with me instead and he's fine with that."

"Pfft, hardly fine but OK." Shane mumbled under his breath.

"He's not angry... He doesn't want you anyway."

Shane laughed and held his hands on his hips. "I am here you know."

Mark's eyes shot over to his fellow brunette and passed a sorry glance. "He wants you?" He asked Nicky. "He's jealous you broke me first and he wants you back doesn't he?"

"It doesn't matter what he wants. I want you Mark. I just needed to end it with him and be sure it was really over. I told you I needed time to sort it. But I'm free now. He's not going to cause us any grief. We can be together if that's what you want?"

"Of course that's what I want. You're perfect Nix. You get me in a way no one else does and that's why I let you... I'm sorry I lied to you but I've gotta feeling you might have lied to me about Shane too."

"Can we just forget about him and be together just you and me? I want to make a go of it with you."

"Oh please!" Shane rolled his eyes and stormed back inside to find Kian.

"He's not happy about it is he?" Mark chuckled.

"No but he's given me his blessing to move on. He just wants me to be happy... And I know I can be happy with you."

"I think so too." Mark grinned, stroking Nicky's hair. "I want to be with you again and not feel guilty about it."

"You will be and I promise there won't be anything to feel guilty about." Nicky whispered before kissing his new boyfriend in the beer garden.  
***

Throughout the concert on Saturday night, Mark and Nicky had clung to each other. Shane had gone on to explain everything to Kian at the bar who was outraged by Nicky's actions. They avoided the happy couple all night and enjoyed the gig, managing to get a photo taken on their disposable camera with the band but once the night was over, Shane accepted that he’d lost his battle and left his exes to be together til their hearts were content. Little did he know his forgiving nature would bite them all on the ass just hours later.  
While brushing his mother's hair the next morning, Mark broke the news to Marie that he'd got himself a new boyfriend. She tried not to judge her son for jumping ship so quickly and was spared the details of Mark's sex life but she was happy her boy had found someone that had put a permanent smile on his face. She'd heard him come home with company the night before but also knew the boy had left in the early hours but didn't embarrass Mark by telling him.

"So are you sure you're ready to meet your sister again Mam?"

"Yes. I can't believe you found her so fast and she's agreed to see me. What time did you say she was coming?"

"Anytime now." He smiled and sat beside her bed, holding her hand as they both shook with nerves.

They'd asked the rest bite carer to be there and help make the tea so when the front doorbell rang they braced themselves and waited for Flora to let their visitor in. Only Marie's sister wasn't alone.

Pulling up in the car down the street, Nicky looked confused as he saw the familiar buildings he'd been directed to. "Where is it you're going exactly?"

"I think you should come with me darling. I can't do this on my own." Yvonne stared at the address in her hand, memorising the house number. "43, number 43. Which side is that on?"

"I don't know. Let's look." Nicky didn't think too much of it as he climbed out of the car and followed his mum down the street until she reached Mark's front door. "43. Here we go."

Seeing the house in front of him, Nicky panicked. "Mam? What are we doing here?"

"Let's just get inside and all will become clear. Don't worry, you're not in trouble."

'I think I am!' the blonde worried. Scared shirtless he was about to be arrested for taking advantage of Mark.

Flora answered the door and greeted the mother and son, welcoming them into the house.   
"Come on through."

Yvonne’s heart was racing ten to the dozen as she stepped inside the lounge to find her long lost sister laid paralysed on her bed. As Nicky walked into the room expecting to find the police waiting for him he was shocked to find Mark beside his mother's side.  
"Oh Marie!" Yvonne cried, rushing to her side. "Oh my goodness."

"Hello little sis." Marie croaked with a smile, wishing she could fling her arms around her sister.

Nicky and Mark were gobsmacked. The blonde was still completely dumbfounded by the words Mark's mum had used, he couldn't compute what was going on. Mark's jaw dropped as he saw his boyfriend statuette in the doorway.

"No... It can't be?" Mark shuddered, catching the attention of the boy’s mothers.

Yvonne was none the wiser to Nicky's relationship status so had no idea the boys knew each other.   
"Is this your son Marie?"

"Yes. This is Mark. Your gorgeous 16 year old nephew."

"Fuck off!" Nicky shouted taking everyone by surprise.

"Language Nicky!" Yvonne blasted back at him. "Don't be so rude... Sorry Marie. This is my son Nicky or Nix for short."

Marie had not many minutes ago heard the name Nix and judging by Nicky's reaction, she worked out this wasn't going to be the open arm reunion she hoped for. "Nix?" She looked over to her 18 year old nephew and saw the tears fill his eyes. Looking back to Mark she saw the heartbreak in her son's face and sighed. "Oh no... Mark, tell me it's not."

"Mam I'm so sorry. I had no idea." Mark broke down and rushed out of the lounge, passed Nicky and up to his bedroom.

"Nicky sweetheart what's going on? Come and say hello to your Auntie Marie."

"You have got to be joking. You are Mark's long lost aunt?! Are you fucking kidding me?"

Yvonne was fuming with her son's rudeness and profusely apologised on his behalf but Marie knew exactly why their boys were in awe. "It's alright Yvonne. I understand this is a shock for them."

"That's no excuse for the way he's behaving. Nicky you have a cousin I didn't know you had, you should be happy. Do you know him dear?"

"Know him?!" Nicky laughed and shook his head at Marie. "Yeah I know him alright. And I know last night he snuck me into his bedroom so Marie didn't notice."

"Excuse me?" His mum stared at him, completely oblivious to what he was trying to insinuate.

"I heard you darling and I heard you leave this morning. I'm so sorry I had no idea either... Mark told me this morning he had a new boyfriend but..."

"Boyfriend?" Yvonne repeated and the penny dropped. "Oh no. No Nicky, please don't tell me Mark's the boy you've been seeing?"

"Seeing?!" Nicky laughed again, a bag of nerves. "Mark's my boyfriend Mam! We've been sleeping together."   
Marie was not impressed to say the least that her son had been having underage sex under her roof when he'd promised to wait but it was made even worse now by the fact he'd been shagging his cousin all along.   
"He was seeing Shane at first, my ex-boyfriend Shane! And I chose Mark over getting back with him... You've ruined everything."

"Oh sweetheart, I had no idea. I'm so sorry." Yvonne frowned, holding right onto Marie's hand as the older sister sobbed at the terrible bittersweet news.

"Mark's my cousin?! I feel sick. I'm gonna throw up." Nicky cried, running upstairs to the bathroom to sprew his guts up but Mark heard him coughing and spluttering through his tears. "It's not fair."

"Nix I'm so sorry. I didn't know... I didn't know your mum's name or that she had a sister."

"I feel so violated... I feel dirty and sick." Nicky seethed, unable to look Mark in the eye. "I fucked my underage cousin. It's disgusting."

"I'm disgusting now am I? Thanks a lot Nix I thought you'd have taken it a little better than this."

"What do you expect? It's one thing to lie about your age but you're my fucking cousin Mark. I traded my first love for my cousin. Of course I feel sick."

"It's not illegal to shag your cousin you know. You can marry them if you want to."

"What?! As if." Nicky argued the facts but Mark was right.

It was legal to marry your cousin in the UK and Ireland. Frowned upon maybe but not illegal. The only banned part about it was the ability to reproduce in cases of straight couples being together. The DNA mix could cause all kinds of complications and it was advised not to allow offspring in the instance that two cousins should want to be an item. But the boys were gay so that wasn't an issue.

"I'm telling you, we haven't done anything wrong."

"Mark you have no other family. I'm the only family you'll have left soon. Legal or not, can't you see how fucked up this is? We can't be together now. It's just wrong."

"I'm mortified my only family turned out to be my boyfriend. I feel like a pikey having lost my virginity to my cousin for fuck sake. I'm not a Dingle from Emmerdale... But I won't feel guilty about it and I'm upset that you feel so repulsed by me now."

Nicky climbed to his feet and wiped his mouth on some toilet roll before flushing the chain and walking through to Mark's bedroom. "I'm sorry... It just feels so wrong. I know how excited you were last night about meeting your Auntie. I had no suspicion she was my mam, honest. I hadn’t even told her about you yet."

"I told my mam this morning. She was so happy for me. I didn't tell her we'd slept together but..."

"I did... I just blurted it out in a rage, I'm sorry. They know."

"Oh great thanks a bunch Nix." Mark sat down on the edge of the bed and held his head in his hands. "Fucking great... How embarrassing."

"Embarrassing?! Our mam's faces were mortified when I admitted I’d slept with my underage cousin. How do you think I feel? I've lost everything Mark. I've lost you, I've lost Shane..."

"So go back to him if that's what you want. If you'd known sooner about me then you wouldn't have wasted your time on me."

"That's not fair. I've always wanted a brother or cousin. If I'd known I would never have interfered with your relationship with Shane. I'd have got to know you our own way and I would have accepted Shane had you."

"But that's how it is Nix. You chose me over him and now we're faced with this we have to deal with it. I promise, we haven't done anything wrong. We can still be together."

"What?! No way. We can't be together now we know. It's just wrong. I'm all you're gonna have left. We can't jeopardise that... We have to just forget what happened last night and last weekend and be friends now. You're gonna need me as friends Mark, forever. Not some first love that will end up breaking your heart." It pained Nicky to admit it but he knew he was right and needed Mark to get out of his head that love was more important than a family bond. He held his hand on Mark's neck and held back more tears. "Mark, I'm sorry but I can't do this now. Legal or not, I can't risk hurting you and losing you like I lost Shane when instead we can be brothers for the rest of our lives. I wanna be here for you when you lose your Mam and hold you as you cry but not like this... Maybe if Marie wasn't sick it'd be different but it's not. You need me more than you ever though now but not as your boyfriend. I'm sorry."

Mark was gutted. He could feel himself falling for the blonde already and he hated that his heart had been ripped out already. The only consolation was knowing he'd still get Nicky by his side for the rest of his life but not being able to touch him again and feel the magical embraces they'd shared was haunting him.  
"I can't believe I've lost you already. I'm sorry I suggested we could carry on. I know we can't. It's the 90s, it's Ireland, we're gay, it'd never work... Nix I'm so sorry I've ruined everything for you and Shane."

"It's not your fault. I made my choice and he blessed it. I can't go back now, it wouldn't be fair." Nicky frowned, holding tight of Mark's neck. "One last kiss before it's too late?"

"I don't think we should. I won't be able to stop." Mark sniffed, letting his emotions drip on Nicky's lap. "You have to talk to Shane again. Please Nix. He loves you and I know you love him. If there's even the smallest chance of making it work with him again then don't hold back. I won't be offended."

"It's too late. I made my choice."

"Nicky please. I know what we did was amazing and I'll never regret it but you only slept with me to get back at him, I know you did. But he's sorry for what he's done and if he loves you just twice as much as I do already then he won't let you down again. Please call him."

"I can't... It's not right."

Going back on his word, Mark leaned in and kissed Nicky one last time. He held his lips on the blonde's for what seemed like an eternity until pulling away and sitting back. "Do it for me bro. We're over now and I want you to be happy. Stop being a stubborn brat and call him from my phone or I'll go and tell Auntie Yvonne you're being a prick." He sniggered, making Nicky smile. "Please Nix. I just want you to be happy. We're good, we're cousins for god sake, how amazing is that? We're best friends for life. I never wanna see your cock again."

Nicky chuckled at Mark's brave attitude to such a mind blowing situation but he was right. They were going to be better than lovers. They were best friends, cousins and brothers for life and no amount of romance or spunk would beat that happiness and trust. Mark climbed off the bed and smiled as he sheepishly made his way downstairs to face his mum and aunt. He was slightly cross with Nicky for opening his big gob about their sex life but once he'd convinced them it was already over between them, they accepted it was an honest mistake and hoped they could all enjoy some family time before Marie slipped away in the months to come.  
Nicky stared at the phone on the wall and tried to reason with himself. He knew he'd picked Mark over Shane this time but the boy wasn't an option anymore. How big was this humble pie he had to swallow in order to pick up the phone and try one last time to reunite with his first love? He wasn't sure he could face the shame of admitting the truth and he knew he should go downstairs to face the music so after calming himself down he made his choice and promised to deal with it later. He had a new family to get to know and right now he couldn't be doing with crying down the phone to his heart broken ex.


End file.
